I’ve never understood the hype surrounding new year’s resolutions. In fact, I think most of my four-legged friends would agree that the tradition seems a little… well, mean.
You are supposed to look at yourself, point out what is “wrong” with you, and then share it with the entire world. Most of the time, people end up picking something that is sure to make them miserable for the next 12 months – IF they even keep their resolution that long.
I guess two-legged people and four-legged people are just different when it comes to these things.
Have you ever had a four-legged friend tell you that they feel fat? I doubt it.
Since the tradition seems so important, though, I asked a bunch of my four-legged friends to come up with their own goals for the upcoming year so that you could get some ideas for yourself. They aren’t really resolutions as much as declarations, but I think that some of them are pretty impressive.
Four-legged Proclamations for 2018
- I will stop going down into the basement and peeing on the carpet when daddy is home. – Lizzie from Round Hill, Virginia
- I will stop trying to dig a hole in my sister’s bed. – Rocky from Charlotte, NC
- I will only drink out of designated water bowls. – Bella from Westford, MA
- I will stop barking at every noise (minus the doorbell). – Sawyer from Winchester, VA
- I will come down the stairs the very first time I’m asked. – Huck from Winchester, VA
- I will stop chasing after cats (and turkeys) so that I won’t tear my ACL again. – Monroe from Dayton, OH
- I will never puke in mommy and daddy’s bedroom again. – Max from Tyngsborough, MA
- I will work on my bad breath. – Lucky from Boston, MA
- I will be more than a pretty face. – Morgan from Nashville, TN
- I will stop eating the cat food (and poop). – Harley from Tewksbury, MA
- I will stop stealing food from the table, counter, and children. – Phoebe from Cambridge, MA
- I will wear my halo light (and never pull mommy into a ditch again). – Sherman from Boston, MA
- I will stop licking my paws until I smell awful. – Zoe from Lincolnton, NC
- I will never push someone over again. – Zeke from Louisville, KY
- I will leave the room before I fart. – Roosevelt from Houston, TX
- I will control myself around shoes, tissues, napkins, and Nerf bullets. – Charley from Lowell, MA
- I will never eat hair again. – Missy from Tewksbury, MA
- I will wear my thundershirt instead of hiding (and getting stuck) under the bed. – Jack from Tewksbury, MA
- I will never put my cold, cold nose on daddy’s belly again. – Bedford from Chelmsford, MA
- I will not sit so close to the heater. – Sandy from Boston, MA
- I will respect closed drawers and trash cans. – Macy from Wilmington, MA
- I will stop trying to rip off mommy’s arm every time I see a squirrel. – Buster from Billerica, MA
- I will not bark during mommy’s conference calls. – Brady from Leesburg, VA
- I will leave the chickens alone. – Bernardo from Frederick, MD
- I will find a replacement in my diet for both grass and animal droppings. – PeeWee from Tewksbury, MA
- I will work on my relationship with the cats. – Brownie from Chelmsford, MA
- I will respect mommy and daddy’s space on the bed. – Drake from Tewksbury, MA
- I will stop rolling in fireplace ashes in the woods. – Sophie from Berryville, VA
- I will listen harder, especially when daddy says, “No.” – Clarice from Birmingham, AL
- I will not eat packages – or bouncy balls. – Duncan from Boston, MA
- I will try to stop eating socks, but if I do, I promise to throw them up on the tile. – Maggie from Wilmington, MA
- I will not put my wet, nasty toys on daddy’s lap. – Peebo from Tewksbury, MA
- I will never eat drywall, window sills, or the carpet on the stairs again. – KC from Ashburn, VA
- I will not pee and mark my territory on my four-legged sister when she is peeing. – Copper from Ashburn, VA
- I will tear my toys apart in one area instead of spreading the mess all over the house. – Gabby from Boston, MA
- I will stop trying to steal mommy from daddy. – Freddy from Bedford, MA
As for my personal resolutions, I will borrow a page from my two-legged friends and commit to eating healthier in the new year. I’ll cut back on the beef & rice balls and cheese in a blanket… a little. I will also spend more time with family and friends, and start a new hobby. I’m up for suggestions, if you have any. It must be something I can do while laying down, and it would be even better if I can do it while napping.
I’ve also decided that I need to establish a monthly routine in 2018 and stick to it. I’ve already got the perfect idea, and I’m committed to keeping it going throughout the entire new year.
Wanna join me?
P.S. My 14th birthday is coming up on January 23rd. I don’t like to brag, but it’s kind of a big deal. Mom says we’ll have an exciting promotion to celebrate my awesomeness, so get ready!